by Brandy Pavia
Today is our Bean’s 10th birthday. TEN. It’s been ten years since we were introduced to that beautiful little bundle of joy that forever changed our lives. For some reason, ten seems so old to me. Like, holy-crap-we’re-into-double-digits-and-puberty-is-getting-closer, old. The feelings are similar to those you may experience while waiting in line to ride a wild roller coaster: extreme excitement, but also, fear of all the crazy loops you’ll go through. Turns out, that analogy pretty much sums up parenthood perfectly.
Our ride began on May 1, 2007, six days past my due date. I waddled into my OB’s office for a check-up, feeling anxious and uncomfortable, assuming that she would tell me that I had to wait a few more days. To my surprise, she told me to be at the hospital by 4pm that same day for a scheduled C-section, since the baby was measuring large and I, apparently, have narrow pelvic bones. Go figure, narrow friggen’ pelvic bones. Thanks, genetics! As I was leaving her office, she smiled and recommended that I go home, put my feet up and take a nap. Yeah, ok lady. Perhaps you had forgotten that I wasn’t gearing up for a wild night out, but that I was just given the news that I was eight hours away from having a tiny human pulled out of a six-inch incision in my stomach! Needless to say, I went home and lay in my bed feeling like a beached whale on crack, eyes wide open and paranoid. I can assure you, it was anything but restful!
We got to the hospital and I waddled up to labor and delivery with nothing but my cell phone and a chap stick. The triage nurse had me change into a very fashionable hospital gown, did the routine monitoring and paperwork, and then, it was show time. After receiving the epidural, and immediately losing all feeling in the lower half of my body, (whilst wearing the above-mentioned gown that was completely open in the back), they shifted me over to the operating table, and in doing so, caused the back of my gown to fly open, completely exposing my entire backside. The cherry on top was that the hospital custodian chose that exact time to enter the operating room to empty the trash can. Awesome. As if it weren’t humiliating enough to be helplessly lying on an operating table under fluorescent lighting, with a big, pregnant belly, I was now flashing a stranger and couldn’t do a damn thing about it, because my lower extremities were numb. I learned very early on that you lose all modesty while giving birth.
Once I was finished flashing the help, the doctors were able to get to work setting the stage for my girl’s big debut. Finally, at 6:44pm, we were introduced to the most perfect little person that we’ve ever laid eyes upon! The doctor jokingly commented that she was the size of a three-month old before taking her over to be weighed. As they were stitching me up, I overheard the doctor say the numbers 9-9, to which I shouted, “DID YOU SAY 9 POUNDS, 9 OUNCES?!” Yes. Yes she most certainly did! To this day, I still thank my lucky stars that I didn’t have to push her out!
And just like that, we became a family of three!
Over the past ten years, we’ve encountered lots of twists and turns on the roller coaster of life, but when I think of our ride, I’m reminded that autism is just one part of it; it’s one of the many loops that make up our track. Sure things can be uncertain and worrisome at times, and there are lots of ups and downs, but that’s par for the course when it comes to parenting any child, autistic or not. (Truth be told, I didn’t start finding gray hairs until I had my son!).
And so, we just keep swimming, finding new ways to help her succeed and be happy. She’s accomplished some pretty amazing things in these past ten years, so here’s to the next ten and beyond. Happy birthday, my beautiful girl! May you always know how much you are loved, and how proud we are of the amazing person you’ve become; may you never lose your “you-ness,” or the awesome capacity you have to always think outside the box; most importantly, may you always remember that you are perfect just the way you are.
Brandy Pavia is a working mom from New Jersey, with two amazing kids: an autistically awesome daughter, “Bean” & an adorably sweet son, “Bear.” Together with her husband, and their dog, Penny, (who is like one of their kids), she enjoys sharing her family’s adventures and encouraging others to embrace autism along the way!
