by Amala Mani
To that person who said my kid doesn’t looks Autistic – The tantrum he throws and the odd and attractive way he behaves is not because of my poor parenting. It is because of his trouble in sensory processing. It is because he cannot accept changes in the environment so easily.
When you spend a couple of hours with him, you see him like a non-autistic kid. That is because sometimes he looks so and also I have already struggled and shaped him to look like that.
After his first diagnosis I went crazy. It was hard for me to accept the fact that he has Autism for the first couple of months. I didn’t have any awareness about Autism then. But slowly I came to know each and every detail about Autism. I accepted the Autism in him. I stopped worrying about to find the cure after knowing that Autism is not a disease. It is a name given to the different perspective my kid sees the world. Autism is another way of living.
I admire the way he behaves like it doesn’t bother what others think about him and to stand still for what he needs. When I talk about his Autism and about him to you, I’m not a negative person. I’m not worrying about him for his diagnosis. I’m not scared about his future.
I feel very positive. I’m just looking to get the best which I could give for him to improve his quality of life. I’m looking for a way to shape him so that he’s acceptable by every other in all his part of his life. I’m looking for a better schooling which would suit him and I’m looking for everything which would suit him the best. I never gave up on him. I’m shaping him better every day and that’s not negativity.
When you say I’m a negative person for accepting that my kid has Autism, I wish that you had more awareness on “What is Autism?”
I wish to give you a book on Sensory processing challenges.
And yes, my kid has some behavior issues. But that is not because of my poor parenting. He was never learning challenged. He made it teaching challenged to me and I’m working on it every day. I’m making myself a better parent by improving my teaching skills daily.
So until your kid wakes up at 3 AM in the morning and cries for no reason for an hour, Until your kid has a severe meltdown for minutes just to see you close the bathroom door, until your kid can’t sit and play with any toy for a while, until your kid gets attracted to any dangerous source of water like Deep lakes, ponds and rivers, until your kid gets cranky and escape for every “No” you say, and until you walk in my shoes for a while please don’t judge my parenting skills.
I’m silly, funny and crazy cause my kid likes to play with me that way. He is not good at looking into my eyes and saying “I love you Mom” but he will someday. And You should stop over by our house one day and see his happy and excited eyes when he sees the spinning Pinwheel in our garden and says “Wow! Pinwheel is spinning” for the 10th time in a while, to start to learn your Practical Autism Awareness.