She Made It!

BY CHRISTINE REDMAN-WALDEYER

Juana Ortiz’s wish is that by reading I Made It, parents will be able to get hope and courage to keep fighting for their kids.

There once was a virgin wilderness.
Trees and land without deeds or fences.

– Pedro Mir’s Countersong to Walt Whitman’s Song of Ourselves

Juana Ortiz, grew up in the town of Bani in the Dominican Republic. At the age of 15 she would leave that world behind to live in the United States. Her parents sought educational and healthcare opportunities for their daughter who was born with cerebral palsy.

It is this journey that is reflected in much of Juana’s writing, her journey to the United States, those opportunities that were afforded to her, and her growing love for non-fiction, poetry and memoir.

After her work appeared in poetry publications in the Paterson Literary Journal, Juana took on the project of telling her story in her recently published book, I Made It! When asked what path led her to this, Juana answered, “Capstone-Print Journalism. This was it… the last course I had to take to complete the requirements for my major and obtain my bachelor’s degree!”

Despite her nervousness, her professor at William Paterson University, Dr. Tina Lesher, explained the requirements and showed student examples from former student capstone projects. “Some had written magazines, others created booklets, and so on. The capstone project was to be the representation of yourself in the professional world,” said Juana.

As her classmates discussed what their projects would be about, Juana decided to write a book about her life. Juana’s apprehension about approaching her professor was soon laid to rest, when Dr. Lesher not only approved the project but motivated her to do it. Juana studied the syllabus which divided the course into three major parts.

“Throughout I Made It!, I exposed the readers to different aspects of my life not just as a person with cerebral palsy; I talk about female issues, family struggles, cultural changes, low self-esteem, education, persistence, goals among other topics. The content of the book is very diverse. Any reader can feel familiar with one of the topics,” said Juana.

Juana relates her process as a step-by-step scholarly and self-study. “First, I had to write a short essay describing the topic of my project. The second part consisted of conducting research related to the topic and creating a literature review of the research sources. The final step in my capstone was to interview several people who know me and ask them questions about their impressions and perceptions of me.

Thanks to therapeutic writing I see myself as much more than the person with cerebral palsy. I do not let my disability define me. My soul and my intellectual abilities are stronger than my physical body. For many years I was caught up in what I was unable to do physically.

For many years, I dwelled on reasons why I have this body. I knew the medical explanation for my CP was lack of oxygen in my brain at the time of birth. But I wondered why that happened to me. Now I am able to say that God had created me with a purpose. Thanks to the gift of writing that God has given me, I have found my purpose in life.”

Juana explained that one of the goals she hoped to accomplish was to educate readers about the issues people with disabilities face daily. Having gone through tough situations since childhood, she decided to share those experiences for three major reasons.

First to show readers that writing about her struggles helped her to cope with her wounds from the past. “It has been therapeutic to open up and let others know what happened, how I felt about it, and how these life events have helped me to grow as a person,” said Juana.

Secondly, she wanted readers to see how she made it. That setting goals for herself can help others see they can do to it too.

Her third reason was that she believes that there still are a lot of misunderstandings about people with disabilities and their education. “I want to advocate for the inclusion of students with disabilities in mainstream classes all the way through college,” said Juana.

Juana goes on to say, “From the time I was a little girl, one of the hardest things that I had to deal with was the limitation imposed by society on people with disabilities. Since childhood, I was labeled as a person incapable of carrying out simple activities, such as attending school.

Looking back at my life I can say that I have come far, but I realize I haven’t made it by myself. I feel thankful that my accomplishments were made possible with the support that I had received: My parents, my family, my high school teacher Doctor Carlos Lugo, kind professors, dedicated counselors, and other caring people who appeared in my life with both friendship and assistance.”

I asked Juana’s feelings on how media has treated her story. In a world where we are increasingly becoming more aware and have created a platform for sensitivity, there has been as many steps backwards, more notoriously noted with Donald Trump’s well-publicized criticism of New York Times reporter, Serge Kovaleski.

Juana said, “So far I am comfortable…but I would like to have more coverage because, by sharing my story, other people might be able to benefit along the way. Those around me are very impressed with my achievement especially with the publication of I Made It! Also, for the first time they are becoming aware of some of the turmoil that I experienced in the past that I never shared with anybody, even my mother who I have a great relationship with.” Juana indicated that even her own mother was shocked.

Juana also hits on topics such as dating and marriage in her book, which she says is often not talked about. Ironically, Juana’s hometown Bani, is known to its residents as the home of poets. Bani, capital of the Peravia province, is the Taino word meaning “abundant water”. Symbolically, it is that water Juana goes to for nourishment, her memories, her journey, her work to better understand the world.

Juana relates that she misses the warm weather and lifestyle of Bani. She also informs us that, “Pedro Mir was a major poet from the Dominican Republic. Mir’s poem, ‘Hay Un Pais En El Mundo’ (‘There is One Country in the World’) brings me back to my childhood in Bani, where I can feel the sunshine warming my back and the soft breezes caressing my face on hot afternoons.”

She recollects her first night in the United States: “On a cold January night in 1988, Mami, my brothers and I moved to the United States. We went to live in Paterson, New Jersey where Papi and Mami’s parents were already living.
Before we arrived from the airport, Mami’s mother, Abuela, cooked us a welcoming meal of rice and black beans.

On my second night in Paterson, I experienced a kind of miracle. Mami was standing by the window in the living room. Suddenly, I heard her voice, “Juana ven para que veas algo”—“Juana, come see something.” I approached the window and I saw white dots falling to the ground.

Back in the DR the image that I had of the winter season was the Christmas tree that Mami made using white toilet paper. She used to decorate the tree with Christmas lights and cover the tree branches with little pieces of white paper in each of the small hollows.”

Juana realized her life would not be the same. The shock of exchanging short skirts and sandals for a coat, no backyard, her love of having the view and time to take in nature, had been replaced by the sidewalks, car horns, and the busy pace of city life.

Juana recounts that the teen years were tough, “but especially when the teenager is also learning the way of life in another country. At first, I felt confused and unsure about who I was and where I belonged. I was moving from childhood toward adulthood and from Dominican to Dominican-American. It was a time I rejected being an immigrant, a Dominican, or a Dominican-American; I only wanted to be myself. Despite all my doubts, I tried to be a typical 15-year-old girl. In early fall 1988, my parents rented a small apartment in Paterson. They, my two brothers, and I moved out of the crowded house on 16th Street and into our own space.”

Juana started school for the first time at age 16. Juana recounts, “Months after I moved to New Jersey. I couldn’t start immediately I had to wait and go through a process. Based on the suggestions from the Child Team from the school that my two brothers were attending the best option was to attend Passaic County Elks Cerebral Palsy  Treatment Center in Clifton, New Jersey. Five years later, since I was exceeding all expectations I was transferred to a regular high school. The change offered new obstacles, one of which was that since she was 20 years old, and the age limit for a student to receive special education was 21. With the support of Rosita Kardashian and Daisy  Mendoza, then the director and the advocate from the Multilingual Center, Juana and her mother requested permission from the Paterson Board of Education for Juana to complete all four years of high school at JFK. Months later, the request was approved and her age was no longer an obstacle to getting her high school education.

This would lead her with the support of her family to attend college. Juana first attended Passaic County Community College (PCCC) where I had the opportunity to get to know Juana as her instructor in journalism. With the support of poet and professor, Mark Hillringhouse and others such as Linda Telesco, the Communications team, and myself, Juana dedicated herself to the pursuit of not only her degree, but writing as well. However, Juana’s journey did not start out smoothly.

She related that she was taking classes in basic math, writing, reading, and grammar. “All the courses were in the ESL category except for math. In addition, I attended a weekly lab for each of the classes. When a class ended, I walked straight to one of the labs and spent two to three hours there. I was expected to go for an hour, but I needed more time to complete the assignments.

Not all the challenges of college were academic. Even though I had taken a word processing computer class in high school, once I was in college I realized how weak my computer skills were.

As I was advancing to a higher academic level, the writing demands were becoming tougher. In fact, on a couple of occasions, certain professors believed that I should repeat a course, because they felt I was not ready for the next level.

A few semesters later, the situation didn’t improve. I kept failing classes, especially the writing class. I grew concerned, because I was receiving financial aid to pay my tuition. The future that I had planned seemed to be  vanishing. There were moments when I saw myself as a loser. I thought that I shouldn’t keep fighting for something that was not working.

In the spring of 2000, after failing Advanced Writing ESL (third level) for two consecutive semesters, I made a very difficult decision. I dropped out of college.”

In January 2002, at age 29, she went back to PCCC. The decision was risky. “I knew from experience that the possibility of succeeding was low. But even though I felt insecure about being able to pass all the courses, I realized that education was the key to moving ahead.

I took the same class that I was taking before I dropped out. This time I passed the class. I kept taking one or two courses per semester. I had to deal with a lot of challenges related to my disability, the language and my gender.  There were many times when I thought that I would not be able to graduate from college but I did. I graduated and transferred to William Paterson University, a four-year institution.”

Juana added that she would like to say to parents and those living with disabilities “to not give up even if they get discouraged by the lack of support and understanding by others.” Even though her parents had support, they fought very hard. Juana’s wish is that by reading I Made It! parents will be able to get hope and courage to keep fighting for their kids.•

Juana’s book is now available for purchase on Amazon at: www.amazon.com/Made-It-Juana-M-Ortiz/dp/1504901649
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Christine Redman-Waldeyer is a poet and Assistant Professor in the Department of English at Passaic County Community College in New Jersey. She has published three poetry collections, “Frame by Frame”, “Gravel”, and “Eve Asks” (all with Muse-Pie Press) and has appeared in Schuylkill Valley Journal, The Texas Review, Verse Wisconsin, and others. Christine earned her Doctorate of Letters from Drew University and is a doctoral candidate in Rowan University’s Ed.D program in higher education

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