Life Lessons

BY TIMOTHY DONOVAN

My name is Timothy Michael Donovan. I am a 13-year-old boy who was born with some significant disabilities. When I was a year old, I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. I also deal with a seizure disorder. My dad is a Staff Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps, and my mom is a stay-at-home mom who homeschools me and drives me to all my doctor appointments. From the day I was born, I’ve had to deal with adversity, but I have learned that everyone in this world is faced with challenges to some degree and what counts is how you deal with them. I believe with all my heart that God has very special plans for me. For example, I have been able to accomplish things that respected doctors told my parents I would never be able to do. I try to make the most out of everything; and I enjoy life to the fullest because I know that tomorrow is never promised. I may not be able to walk, or be able to lift my arms, or run fast and throw a football, but I can think and reason, and I have a strong voice and a desire to make a difference in the world.

I attended a traditional brick and mortar school up until the 4th grade. In 2011, my dad received orders to be stationed in San Diego, CA. My mom enrolled me in the school closest to our home. Things were not good from the start, but I tried to stay focused because I hoped things would get better. At the outset, I wasn’t being provided the services that I needed, like physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech. I didn’t have an aide so I had to depend on the other kids to help me around the classroom. At times, I felt lonely because I really did not have any friends. I found myself playing outside with a stick all alone every day. There were no other kids like me who were in a wheelchair.

Eventually, things went from bad to worse. My teacher seemed to lack patience with me. My mom had many meetings with the principal, but to no avail. They switched me to a different classroom, but things were not any better there, too. I wasn’t able to keep up, academically, because my reading levels were not up to par. Since I wasn’t able to keep up with the class, my teacher would just have me play on the computer while everyone else did their work. Needless to say, I felt left out and useless; it was not a good feeling. I really wanted to learn, but the pace was too fast for me and I couldn’t keep up. After many meetings, my mom decided to move me to a different school. At first we were really excited because even though it was farther from home, there were many kids like me who had special needs. I finally thought this may work for me. I finished the last two weeks of 4th grade at the new school, and everything was fine. The following year would be my first full year there, which would have been 5th grade. Sadly, my aide was not helpful and somewhat insensitive. Her attitude towards me seemed to get worse each day and I remember coming home many days in despair. I could not understand why an adult would be so intolerant of my medical needs when she knew I had no control over them. We had several meetings with the teacher and the principal but nothing improved. I reached a point where I didn’t want to go to school anymore. My mom saw the anguish in me and she decided to home-school me. She found a program through K-12 which has really made a difference in my life. I am now reading at grade level, I have earned straight A’s and I’m a part of the National Junior Honor Society. I have a teacher who truly cares for me and helps me succeed. I’m now in 7th grade and I have been with the California Virtual Academies since the last two weeks of 5th grade. The life lesson for me is that no matter how difficult things seemed to get, my mom and dad both helped me to maintain focus and to keep a positive outlook that things would get better. They did and so did I!

While I was dealing with a lot of hardship in school, I was also dealing with some stress and anxiety with my health. Recall, the day I was born, the doctors told my parents that they didn’t think I would make it through the night. My parents were also told that if I did make it, I wouldn’t be able to talk. Because I was born with a tracheal cleft, I required a tracheostomy to be able to breathe. My parents were told that I would have to live with it for the rest of my life. When I got older and started noticing people staring at me, it made me feel sad. There was nothing I wanted more than to get that tracheostomy taken out. Virtually every doctor we met told us the same thing… I would need to live with the trache. But I am stubborn and so I never lost hope! In 2011, when we moved to San Diego we met my new ENT doctor and for once he gave us hope that the trache might be able to come out. The doctor told us that it would take a while and a couple of surgeries but he thought it could be possible. Finally, after a lot of waiting and praying, in August 2012, after nine years and eight months, my tracheostomy came out. This was probably one of the happiest days of my life. Even though a lot of doctors said it wouldn’t be possible, my family and I never gave up hope. I learned another life lesson: people tend to focus on all the things someone with disabilities cannot do; but for some reason they never zero in on all the things that people like me can do! One day I hope to be able to help those with special needs to stay focused and believe they can overcome any obstacles. The key is to believe in yourself and to never stop trying.

In 2009, we were stationed in Quantico, VA. I attended a school on base and I really loved it, except it didn’t have handicap-accessible playgrounds for kids who had special needs like me. One day, we went to visit a friend of ours who worked for The Defense Department’s Office of Military Community and Family Policy at the Pentagon. My mom and I told her about our concerns regarding the lack of handicap-accessible playgrounds. She had no idea this was going on. I felt very lucky we were able to bring awareness to this issue because thanks to that conversation, The Defense Department’s Office of Military Community and Family Policy were able to fund 40 playgrounds across the United States and overseas. It was a $10 million dollar project that would equip the bases with handicap-accessible playgrounds as well as pool lifts. I was so excited and happy when I was finally able to enjoy recess with my friends, and I could be a normal kid just like the rest of them. But I was equally happy about playing a small role in making life easier for other special needs children and their families. In 2014 for my 12th birthday, I decided that instead of presents, I wanted people to donate money to a GoFund me account my mom helped me put together. I worked with a foundation called Wheelchairs for Kids International which provides wheelchairs to kids in developing countries. I know that I am very blessed to have a power wheelchair which helps me move around on my own. When a friend told us about kids in other countries who didn’t have wheelchairs to help them get around I decided I wanted to try and do something to change that. My goal was to raise enough money to purchase 12 wheelchairs in honor of my 12th birthday. I was very grateful that all the people who love me came together and helped me raise $5,726, enough to buy over 12 wheelchairs. The wheelchairs were delivered to kids who live in Guatemala. Looking at the pictures of the kids being so happy made me feel amazing.

Life lesson Number three: Even though I am disabled, I was able to help make a difference in some children’s lives. It is a terrific feeling!

Recently, I have found myself dealing with bouts of depression. In fact, there were times when I felt like I didn’t want to go on living. That is when life lesson number four kicked in. No matter how sad and depressed I got, there is always my family there to help pick me up. They have offered support and patience and understanding. They always remind me of how special and important I am, not just to them, but to all the people who know me, too. My mom helps to see the good in me when I’m struggling to see it. She really believes in me and always pushes me to be the best that I can be. Thanks to my parents, I know that I can do anything I put my mind to as long as I have their love and support. It is because of their love and support that I’m always willing to try new things. For the past few years I have surfed with a foundation called “Life Rolls On.” Attending three yearly events they have in California, I have been able to do things I wouldn’t normally get to do if it weren’t for a foundation like Life Rolls On. I feel like I’m just like any normal child. I also get to be a part of a baseball team through the Miracle League of San Diego. Since I was three, I have been able to be a part of a team whenever we get stationed in California. When I lived in Virginia, I tried power-soccer, and that was a lot of fun. I also tried sled hockey which was exciting. I have a lot of friends and family who love me so much and are always there for me whenever I need them.

Life lesson number five: As long as I have my faith, my family and my friends, I know that I’ll be able to accomplish many more things. I know that even though I have some disabilities, it doesn’t take away my ability to make a difference in the world. •

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