PUZZLES & CAMO BY SHELLY HUHTANEN
Yes, bad things will happen, but I have faith that some good things are going to happen too.
Fear can paralyze you. It can hinder you from making decisions and it can destroy any hope one may have in planning for the future. There can also be fear of change, fear of time and fear of the unknown. Maybe it’s because we do not have the power to control any of these things. Military families understand this sentiment all too clearly every time they move, make new friends, find the best school placement, and celebrate the next birthday in a new neighborhood in the hopes of finding a friend to help celebrate.
I would be lying if I said I was never afraid. Yes, I fear for my son because I am his mother, but I can’t let my fear stop me from living. I also cannot let guilt stop me from moving forward and doing the best I can in raising our son. As my husband starts back to work with long exhausting hours, I am left with setting up our children’s schedules and picking up where we left off from Fort Hood. It hasn’t been as easy as I would have hoped, but I don’t have time to mull over what our new duty station doesn’t have that our old duty station had.
Rough days are filled with blips of crazy requests not being fulfilled, or questioning why things are done differently at a new place because everything was exactly the way it should be in the old place. A few weeks ago I found myself arguing with the commissary manager as to why they couldn’t order Applegate roast beef. Yes, it sounds quite trivial, but at the time it felt like if I won this argument and they ordered my son’s favorite roast beef, all would be right in the world.
In my mind, finding my son’s favorite roast beef would make it seem more like home, but then again for the military, home is where your family is and in my case, where my son’s roast beef is too.
In my defense, it has been a few years since we moved! Not only have I had to do without Applegate roast beef, but I had to get used to getting lost again. I’ll be honest, I’m not the adventurer type like my father. Getting lost sucks! There’s no other way to put it. I understand that I’m not that savvy with directions when my son’s echolalia consists of “proceed to the route” because he has heard my phone constantly give me that command as I turn too early. I’m convinced I could get lost in our commissary parking lot on payday.
For the first few weeks, different and new was starting to get old really quick until this week. I tried a new Publix Market after picking up Broden at his ABA clinic. I had not shopped at this one before, but let’s be honest, if MapQuest could get us there, why not try it out? While I was paying for my groceries, a young man named Connor bagged our groceries. He started talking to Broden and trying to interact with him. After I assisted Broden with how to respond to Connor, I told him that he
had autism.
Connor’s face lit up and started to tell me about the sensory movies in the area for children on the spectrum. Once our bags were in the cart, he convinced me to let him carry my bags to my car. As we got closer to the front door, we could see that it was pouring rain. Time and time again, I tried to tell him that I could take my groceries out to the car by myself. Why should he get wet too? Connor refused to let us do it alone. He ran and got us big yellow raincoats that said “Publix” on them and proceeded to put one on Broden. Broden looked down at the raincoat dragging on the ground and started to smile.
Connor said, “Ok, you walk with Broden and I have the cart. As you put Broden in the car, I’ll get the groceries in the back so your son won’t get wet.” Everything worked like clockwork. As I gave Connor his raincoats back in the parking lot, I thanked him again said he didn’t have to work so hard to help us. Connor looked back and smiled, “Yes, I did. It was the right thing to do.”
I figured out that fear of the unknown is a waste of energy. Yes, bad things will happen, but I have to have faith that some good things are going to happen too. Granted, Publix does not have Broden’s Applegate roast beef, but Publix has something better. Publix has Connor. •
Yes, bad things will happen, but I have faith that some good things are going to happen too.
Pleasant Surprises in the Rain
PUZZLES & CAMO
Shelley Huhtanen is an Army wife with two children, one with autism, whose husband is currently stationed at Fort Hood, TX. She is an autism advocate and currently the parent liaison for the Academy for Exceptional Learners.
